he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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