he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
