My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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