yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
