So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
