forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
