My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
