Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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