do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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