would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
