Small penises have feelings too.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
my poor anus
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
