Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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