i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
