we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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