You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
