This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
