I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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