I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize