how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
