she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
