what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
