I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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