Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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