Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
