pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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