i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
