i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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