That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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