why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
