did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
