can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
