but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
