so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
