I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
