you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
