watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
