I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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