when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
