I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
