Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
