That's intense
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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