well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
