I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
