I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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