it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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