I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
They have beer where we have blood.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
