don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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