I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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