I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
