I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
