The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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