Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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