Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
