then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
