shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
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I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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