my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
