I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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