I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
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we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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