google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
