I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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