If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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