it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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