I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
